Hello, Gorgeous! 

Here is how to show up poised and polished to exude that expensive aura and grace all the time. 

A lot of ‘elegance coaches’ will give you quick tips to slow down. Pause more. Wear neutrals. This is to fight that. 

I am here to say: embrace what you are currently doing. Lean into it. 

These are life-changing tools you will walk away with after this post. Stay until the end, because these are 2 huge things that will change your life and remove all your pain. 

Think like an Olympian. 

A lot of people ask What do Olympians have that I do not?

They should be asking the opposite: What are Olympians not doing that I am?

Michael Phelps swam 8 hours a day to break the record of having 8 gold medals for the US, then broke more records at a subsequent Olympics. 

8 hours a day of swimming means 

• Not staying up late watching streaming 
• Not eating junk food
• Not committing to things that do not fit his schedule

Everything Olympic athletes do are small decisions throughout the day to get them closer to their goal. 

I will use myself as an example. 

Recently, I have been committing to this goal where I made myself work everyday for 20 days to reach a goal. 

Despite my emotions, I showed up

• When I was tired
• In a bad mood
• When I did not feel like it 

I learnt that it did not kill me. Along with many other things. It did not make a difference except for exponentially in my bank account. 

Money does not drive me. The freedom and options it gives does. 

For people who want to argue about burnout – I do not have burnout, because I love what I do. This only made me love my work more and get even better at it. 

Disclaimer: This is not for everyone as I put myself through extremes, because 

• I like seeing what I am capable of.  
• I am also doing a 6 month social experiment and will report back. Subscribe. 

I am aware this is not sustainable. I ended up not working for 3 separate days to rest. If you do not rest, your body will force you to rest. 

During this process I went through multiple stages discovering 2 versions of myself.

Version 1: Healthy Gia who worked out everyday with a full schedule.

Version 2: Relaxed Gia who did not exercise daily but had more time. 

Version 1: Healthy Gia 

This version of me was busier, because – if you have thick hair you can relate – I curated my schedule around my workout and shower. Meaning these two things had to be the first thing I did in the day after my morning coffee, because 

1. It takes time to workout.
2. It takes time to do my hair and let it settle. 

When I was busier, I took care of myself better, because I had less time to eat and sit around. Instead of lounging, taking time to order food, I meal prepped high protein meals that I could eat in a manageable time. 

I had to eat healthier options that sustained me through the day. Not eating because I was bored or visiting a bakery just because. I needed energy. 

Since, I had a higher pressure environment, it made me set higher standards and stronger boundaries, because I said no to a lot of exploring random events and things that did not serve the health of my body. 

I said no to going out to drink. I actually don’t drink – so this was easy. I said no to hikes, because the drive was too far and too much time. Things of this nature. The discipline was high. 

Version 2: Relaxed Gia 

I still felt beautiful showing up not working out, but I did feel limited in my outfits, because I spent more time arranging looks to show up. 

You can’t put lipstick on a pig. You have to feel your best before the outfit. 

If you feel shabby, Dolce & Gabbana is not going to save you. If you feel wonderful, SHEIN is going to look like Dior on you. 

I worked shorter hours, because my body had less physical stamina from not working out. 

I also got less done, because I did not make a serious effort to make a list of simple but important errands.  

The result: I found a balance of only working out certain days of the week to feel good in my body daily while still showing up relaxed, in a good mood, and poised. 

I still watch stupid videos. I only do it on the treadmill.

I really liked Version 2’s good mood, but love Version 1’s getting things done even more. Accomplishments have longer term positive thinking  because of the dopamine and make you want to achieve more. 

In other words, find your maximum output version of you. Then find where you naturally idle. 

The best version of you who has a balanced life and shows up daily is somewhere in the middle.

For some it might be closer to the top as it is for me. For others, it might be easier to be right in the middle. 

When you cut away the noise, you also feel much more relaxed, because you are focusing on less. There is not a lot of weight on your mind. 

I see 12 step skincare routines for naturally beautiful ladies who do not need it. 

You only need to clean your face properly, sunscreen to protect your skin, an active ingredient – if that – if you have a medical topical issue, and an oil to cleanse and moisturise your face. 

Disclaimer: I am not a skincare expert, but I have years of experience going on a skincare roller coaster doing all the things. 

Usually, topical issues are hormonal and you simply need to sleep, sweat (workout), and eat properly. You need to eat your skincare. Not add more crap to block your pores. 

When you streamline your routines you show up less messy and less scatter brained.

A really big turnoff for me is when someone has so many thoughts and is disorganised mentally and physically, because they cannot get their thoughts in order. 

This could manifest in their house being messy,  their appearance, and the way they speak. 

The reason I say this is because I was one of these people. 

If someone asked me a question I used to be incoherent. I could not answer without it being two minutes longer winded wasting everyone’s time. All because I could not communicate properly with more valuable words in a shorter time.

I had brain fog. I thought way too much for no reason, because I was so tense from being disorganised. You can’t think clearly if your desk is messy. 

The way to unlock poise is to get your life in order, but more specifically → get your finances in order. 

Security is not only limited to relationships, or your house, or car. You do not have to be rich to feel secure. 

Something that has put me at peace is managing my money so wisely that other people cannot tell me how to spend it. Trends are people telling you what to like. How to be liked. 

I am not averse to trends and like them to upgrade style, but not every trend will suit you. 

Same how the latest iPhone seems better but is only slightly different from last year’s. 

I have a discontinued iPhone 13 mini that is finally falling apart in 2026. All my videos are shot with it which is why I look like I’m on a VHS tape. 

It makes sense to finally upgrade, because it genuinely doesn’t even open sometimes. Some of my apps don’t work or will randomly close. 

Use your things until they die. Or if they are starting to die. I love the lived in Jane Birkin and Olsen twin Hermes bags. 

That means you love your things. You took the time to research, save, budget, only to find a bunch of things you don’t want to acquire that one item. 

Aside: I love Hermes, but everyone has them and now it’s fatigued for me. 

How to feel secure and at peace with your money 

First we had to erase things we don’t need in our daily routines and now in our spending. Our spending indicates a lot of our actions. 

Transactions tell you what you care about. Your bank statement will humble you. 

Ask what you’re doing too much of. 

Get rid of the things you hate and don’t want to be. 

If you’re spending $1,000 a month on going out to eat when you also simultaneously say I want to be a good cook. Those actions do not line up with your goals. 

Also, if you think you’re a good cook go fuck yourself. Still try to be better. Good is the enemy of great. You’re probably a B+ which is above passable instead of an A+ which is outstanding. You are fabulous. It is stylish to be great. 

We take more time looking at how to spend our money versus keep or make our money. 

Whether you work 9 to 5 or freelance, listen up. This will change the way you think about spending FOREVER. 

You are actually poorer than you think. This is a good thing. 

The ultimate money trick

Calculate your bills considering all these metrics. 

1. Rent 
2. Utilities – electricity, wifi, gas, water, sewage, trash, etc. 
3. Bills – subscriptions, cleaning supplies, shower essentials 
4. Groceries
5. Transportation 
6. Tax 
7. Retirement – a must 
8. Recreation – going out, books, beauty, hobbies, gifts 
9. Goals – budgeting for a home, travel, wedding, etc.  

Add them all up.

Divide them by the days of the month.

Those are your bills accounted for by the month and day. 

You can break them down by the week and hour if you are a dangerous person.

You realise how much you’re spending? That will stress you out. 

I’m going to stress you out a little bit more.

Now calculate how much money you actually make.

1. 9 to 5
2. Side gig(s)
3. Freelance position 
4. Gift cards + coupons + family allowance (we love nepo babies here) 

Add them all up. 

Then divide them by the days of the month.

Minus the daily bills cost. 

This is your actual take-home pay. 

For example, if I make $80 an hour, my take home pay after all my daily expenses that we calculated would actually be $40 at the end of the day. 

Another way to say this, is it takes me half a day of work to cover 1 day of my bills. That’s not bad. 

Living within your means is so sexy. This is why rich people get rich. They learn how to earn more but keep their spending the same. Lifestyle creep is easy to get lost in. 

Also, you never see billionaires with Louis Vuitton. I wear GAP Factory and it feels like Gucci shirts. Years ago, I dated a guy who wore simple white Gucci shirts without a logo. They felt like the same cotton quality. 

I learnt what materials were and realised they are in more affordable retailers for the same quality. 

I will take 6 months to shop for something and used to feel like sitting down to look at my bank transactions for 2 days was a lot. 

Wake up. What are you doing. Flip your priorities. 

I see this type of backwards thinking everyday and realise how ridiculous people allow themselves to be. 

For example, 

I have met so many guys who say Come live with me. 

I’ll say Take me on a date first. 

They’ll say What? Why would I do that?

I’ll say You don’t even know who I am. I could ruin your life. 

Sure, give me the keys to your house. 

This is how I look at my finances. It has changed my life forever. I see how much I could potentially overspend in one day and never go over that. 

You can also easily reverse engineer how many days you need to work to cover all your expenses. Look at everything you do from every perspective. 

Money is not everything. 

It simply helps you to get you where you want to be and feel safe. Feel comfortable. So you don’t say I can’t go out tonight! You say I can go out tonight or I choose not to go out tonight. 

You will feel relaxed and poised when you see your smart decisions in action.

That is usually reflected in your bank account, because how you spend is literally your actions and thinking. 

Funny enough, I don’t really use social media 

unless it’s to connect with people I know in person or post to share something hopefully helpful. 

I wake up first thing to grab my phone to check my bank account. 

It tells me what I need to do that day. Then listen to something inspiring as I get ready. 

I want you to look at your bank account everyday to feel safe and motivated. 

When you have your life in order you can focus on what is in front of you. 

You can fully react in real time instead of your mind wandering to a stressful task you need to do later. When you are with your loved ones you will smile and laugh with it being genuine, because you have no worries. 

Graceful ladies have no signs of stress.

True elegance isn’t about slowing down in conversations — it comes from alignment, discipline, and cutting the noise so you can show up calm, confident, and polished every day. 

When your routines, health, and money are in order, the expensive aura becomes effortless instead of something you have to force.

If you’re ready to elevate fully, join The It Girl School and visit theitgirlschool.com to step into your most poised, permanently polished era.