A toxic girl proved why I cut her off

Hello, Gorgeous!

In a past post, I mentioned how I cut someone off whom I made friends with only to learn she was not friendship material. I have high standards not only in romantic relationships but also friendships. 

I do not really throw the word ‘toxic’ around, because it has no place in my life. It is rare that a sour apple enters my bunch. If I sound naive, this is because it was a surprise.

Tonight, I bumped into the toxic girl who was a problem in my life. 

I felt like I was taking care of a helpless child. 

Literally waking me up from a slumber, she would pound on my door, because she did not know how to handle her adult life. Asking me to habitually drive her around town, order me around, and speak with ill rather than grace. 

It was that much work, time, and energy. I was exhausted. 

I cut her out for various reasons, but this red flag was one I should have seen coming. 

She had no healthy friends or relationships for a reason.

Always leaning on the silver lining, I held onto the notion that she could potentially change her ways. Looking past her fully developed 36 year-old brain, I thought I could alter some of her matter with positive cognition. 

There is not no hope for someone past the wholly developed stages of a prefrontal cortex. Yet she proved me wrong. Consistently. 

Reflecting on all her past relationships, she had none. None that were worthy of taking home to her parents, being proud of, or me having to look past without having to shower. 

Even when I was 21 and naive, I never did someone so dirty as every messy individual in her years on this earth.  

Nothing has changed in her life. 

Meeting her around my friends, she soured every encounter with body language that excluded me from the group and brought up more toxic stories within earshot. Subjects such as using men and turning away an old friend trying to make amends. The usual suspects. All whilst ignoring me entirely. 

Perhaps I deserve this after all the times I helped her when she incessantly expected me to take on a motherly role for her. Or for when I helped her business excel by building a flawless funnel. 

She immediately dubbed me business manager in which I had no interest. This was simply a friend helping a friend.   

The last look of disgust for the night 

With her naturally not-so-smiley face, I stepped into a room where she turned back to look at me in disgust. No convivial beam. Only eyes rolling and instant deflection. 

No wistful gaze. No gentle glow.

For some reason, I expected better.

I felt used and discarded, but I set up my boundaries for a reason. To avoid situations as this. 

Earlier, I still complimented her from my heart and made sure she was okay when she had an accident. Not once did I modify my disposition and I greeted her happily amongst the rest as always. 

I was right to cut her off. It was definitely worth keeping my dignity. Something I can say I still have.

People give what you tolerate. 

At the time of meeting her, I frequently guided her with every detail of her life as she grudgingly conjured bitter winces when I was facing one heavy concern. She was tired of how I was contemplating a life-reforming decision and endlessly asked me to stop talking about it. 

Too generous for my own good, I looked back at how much she talked about herself, never asked about the pain I was going through with my loved ones, and somehow ended up turning every conversation into her own self-indulgent ceremony. It would last hours. Each time. 

She insulted my greatest accomplishments and relationships, perhaps because she had none.

She wasn’t there when I needed her.

At one point, I told her how I needed space because of my loved one’s health only to be met with disappointment that I was suddenly not paying attention to her. 

She only wanted me solely when she needed me. 

She craved someone to brag about work to when I made double or triple what she made, but I never let her know. At the end of the day it did not matter to me, so I clapped for her successes because she was new and I meant well for her. 

I kept my mouth shut about her lack of propriety and closed the doors after warning her of her behaviour I could not stand. How she asked for too much and smothered me with issues.

I prefer someone healthy with plenty good things going on in their life.

The result was silence. 

I did not respond when she asked for help on her business, because I already explained to her the solution a myriad of times. She was an exceptionally terrible listener. 

Also, she could easily Google what she was asking, so I did not dare overextend myself once again. This is where common sense should prevail. 

After I obtained a new phone–she did not receive a text alerting her of my new number. She was left in the past where she belongs.

My life moved leagues without her weighing me down. 

Instead of becoming like everyone else in her life, I moved on and smiled upon everything I do have. The difference is those shining matters in my life smile brightly back. 

Everything I said I was going to do in our friendship, I did. My moodboards came to fruition with flights planned and goals met. Only with a trail of kindness and clemency to report back to you how not everyone needs to be your friend. 

Never lower your standards for the appearance of friendship. Do not let someone limit your dreams, because theirs are small.

Not everyone deserves access to your energy.

At TheItGirlSchool.com, we talk about this constantly—boundaries, self-respect, leveling up your standards, and learning how to stop over-giving to people who only know how to take.

Because the real glow-up isn’t just aesthetics or success—it’s discernment. It’s knowing when to walk away, when to stop explaining yourself, and when to choose peace over people who drain you.

If you’re ready to protect your energy, elevate your life, and surround yourself with relationships that actually match your growth.

Join us at TheItGirlSchool.com and start becoming the version of you that never settles for less than mutual respect.