Her Energy Is the Standard: The It Girl every girl needs in her life 

Hello, Gorgeous!

There are a handful of beautiful women inside and out who perpetually inspire me. They radiate. And it makes me shine harder. 

Feminine energy is part of it. But a woman with consistent glowth (a combination of glow and growth) will fuel you for the rest of the year.  

Have you ever met one of these girlies? Or perhaps a few of them? 

Every time you see her, you feel so refreshed and determined because you are reminded there is fabulous in the world. 

I CANNOT shut up about these lovelies. They are everywhere. 

I encourage you to find your influences, because they are usually close to home. 

Stimuli that ignite your inner It Girl are easy to find when you are one. 

An inspiration so close, an It Girl I particularly am fond of, is my dear friend Mia. 

After a rough couple months of spending time with someone I tried to be friends with, I had to regroup and find myself again. 

It took so much energy to find kind words for every uncomfortable scenario she put me through that my silver lining optimism was not enough. I found myself lowering my standards and had to walk away. 

Once my best friend came back to town for a visit, we ate well, committed acts of shopping, and caught up on all our latest news and boundless goals. 

The reason I want to be better than yesterday is because I am already surrounded by 

• Virtuous
• Kind
• genuinely compassionate
• Philanthropic
• Thoughtful
• Intrinsically smiley
• Graceful, gorgeous women. 

I cannot stop finding sincere, unfiltered words to describe her. 

The ones who choose elegance all the time. In thought and authentic character. 

Every time you see her you feel good after departing. 

To oppose my last post on a turn-off who made me feel protective of my standards, I countered with a new lease on life from simply seeing the face of an It Girl. She will do that to you.

That is the type of power she has. You affect absolutely every soul around you and mine was brought back to life. 

I always walk away 

• feeling even more blessed
• appreciating what I have
• and so much to look forward to. 

Always ready with something positive to add, or a supportive quip on a new direction you are taking, she makes sure you know she is there with you along the journey. 

She never fully leaves the conversation even after you depart, because she is on your mind making you laugh when recounting your experiences together. 

You feel revitalised after you see her. 

After our meetings, I still keep wanting to call, text, FaceTime her. We follow up on the last few dialogues from throughout the day and gallivant on adventures together. 

The challenging excursions are also fun. We laugh about them later. Because we have such champagne problems. 

Remember when we stood in line for two hours and thought our SPF was enough? 

I have a new tan. Now we have to go to the beach and even it out. 

The only reason why we are tired or need a break is because we ate so much. Who doesn’t need a nap after a feast? Feasts are for friends. 

The people she surrounds herself with are just as stellar.

A lot of the time, she might have had a strong father, a beautiful mother with incredible organisation and planning skills, siblings on their way up, and all sorts of mentors to remind her of where she is on her way to her goals. 

She only has kind words to share about who encircles her, because she consistently maintains healthy relationships. This is not easy to do, but she manages to spill her heart where it feels safe and right. 

Good judgement breeds good judgement and this only deploys from osmosis. Take a look at who you surround yourself with and I will tell you who you are. 

She always has limitless possibilities to look forward to. 

Let’s go to this place next. 

Let’s have a whole ___ [theme/city] day. 

Let’s do this next.  

When you travel to meet me on this part of the globe, let’s stop by this place. I know you’ll love it. 

We cannot stop dreaming and our eyes are bigger than our stomachs. Literally and figuratively. 

She finds ways to feed her soul with many resources, because the fulfillment has no budget. The It Girl finds endless ways to be happy and she is excited to try them all. 

The difference between my dear friend and other girls is that she does not say, ‘I have to do this first,’ because she is already working on what needs to be done to get to point B. Mentioning productivity and logistics is unnecessary unless asked for tips. 

There is relentless movement in her life, because waiting in a stretched queue of obstacles does not stop her. She will get there no matter what because she has to and will anyway. It is simply a matter of time, but she expedites the process.  

She does not believe in having hungry friends.

No hungry friends. I do not believe in having hungry friends. Nor does she. She gets it without me prompting. 

I always love discovering new places to eat, have a matcha or three, and simple bites of sweets or savouries. They taste better when you do it with a friend who is just as thrilled as you are. 

You are going to need tons of energy for the world you want to conquer!

She has a healthy way of putting herself first. 

Setting boundaries needs to be done. 

Even though she is excited to do everything in her line of sight, she understands that life happens and takes breaks when she needs to. Sometimes it might be a headache, stomach ache, or family matter. 

But she rests so she can start back up again, because there is so much to live for. 

She always chooses to be healthy. 

Her vices remain noble. Her body is a temple.

Whether my friend prefers to spend time with herself or others, she upholds her standards to be of sound mind. This means being in control of her faculties by avoiding harmful chemicals ingested, on her body, or poisonous thoughts that could alter her mood. 

Her medicine consists of

• Laughter
• Food
• Movement
• Wholesome media
• Loved ones 

She relaxes with things that make her laugh or feel deeply.

A feminine quality I always admire about my friend is how she loves to feel with shows, films, and good reads that make her feel positive. We are like two little girls at a sleepover lying on our bellies with our feet up and swinging. 

We naturally love media that makes us feel beautiful rather than tense or uncomfortable. 

When I am with her, I get the same feeling of when I was sitting with my older cousins who taught me about my period and what not to do when dating boys. 

I feel like a young girl enthusiastic to take on the world. 

She always smiles. 

This is something so small yet so powerful. 

Too many people overthink how they want to represent themselves to appear a certain image. All whilst others, like us, are naturally ourselves and enjoy the moment, because we sincerely do. 

A smile is so disarming, warm, and luminous. Or it can be violent from laughter hurting our faces in the car, on a plane, or in a restaurant. 

Her words and actions make others smile.

Consideration for others is applied in every conversion, piece of breaking news, or walking up to strangers admiring how lovely they look. 

Such small gestures remind me that there is so much light in the world and there is always a sunny perspective depending on how we approach matters. 

To have good intentions, one must consistently have good thoughts and share them even when it is not necessary. You never know whose day you’re going to make or what someone is going through. 

Be the silver lining in someone else’s moment, because this is how you live your life. 

She is pure-heartedly generous.

My dear friend is always kind and giving when she can be. Offering extra food, leftovers for my sweetheart, and little trinkets to remind me of her at home.

During her move, she had to get rid of countless items only to give them to me in order not to waste or share them with someone else who might not appreciate them as much.

I took her things in, holding them for her until her hopeful next return and am keeping them in pristine condition. Looking around my new home, I see parts of her all around my apartment that make me smile. 

It gives me more will to live and feel like a true woman of luxury. The objects she maintained and shared were things that would never cross my mind to own. But now I have them and realised how much I needed them. 

My life is easier, fuller, and more aesthetic because of her incessant discernment on all the things it takes to be a girl living the soft life. Everything she touches is beautiful and the extension of that is now my heart. 

She creates a legacy of her own. 

Mia needed to buy a suitcase and chose the purple one. Not the pink. Not the beige. The purple one. This is why I know we are friends. I would have chosen the blue one. Or we would alternate having chosen vise versa. 

Authentically being herself is what draws me to her as opposed to society’s image of what a woman should be, which makes her stand out above the rest. 

When you are uniquely you, everyone will always remember. Not a copy+paste of trends, but what sings to you because of your own personal journey that defines your taste. 

The things that stress her out aren’t life-damaging.

You can tell a lot about a person by their problems. If everyone has something negative to say, you might want to steer away from that individual. 

When other friends joke of her being Mia Thermopolous of Princess Diaries–it is definitely a complement. 

The stresses in her life are work certifications, training her puppy correctly, and what colour scheme to choose for decor in her new apartment. They are never relationships riddled with code or financial strains holding her back. 

In other words, her life is essentially in order because she makes everything easy to accomplish. The hard parts are even easy. It Girl problems are not really problems. They are simply little dilemmas. 

She understands that change won’t break us.

Evolving means not always being in the same place. 

We will still be friends and keep the same type of relationship, but understand that we might move far and bounce around yet still come back to each other. 

She is flexible, because she has big dreams, but it does not let her life fall apart. The most feminine thing you can do is to let matters ebb and flow. 

You are water–tidal waves when you need to move mountains and a flowing tributary in times of peace. 

She keeps up with you at a healthy pace.

A good friend is always there. Not disappears and picks up where you left off. That can be a friend varying on the relationship, but feels more like an acquaintance in the long run. 

A true friend will help carry you through matters of weight and air. Feel free to distribute your news at rhythm that suits you, but she is there when it is too early to share news and when you want to make sure a deal is consolidated.

Either way, she is ready when you are to celebrate, cry, and exist with you. 

She listens well and comments kindly with her heart. 

Supportive friends completely change your outlook on life.

I hate this.

We hate this.

If you feel down about something, she is right there with you. Feeling on the up and up? She is clapping as well. No animosity, because she has a different path and so much is going on in her life. 

Dating a man is a team effort. A new job is all hands on deck. You never feel alone, because she only wants the best for you. 

She never utters a negative word. Even to someone she doesn’t like.

Once during a FaceTime, a name was brought up about someone she did not particularly favour. I was used to the individual mentioned being a not so great person. 

We stared at each other trying not to laugh with a long pause because

When you have nothing nice to say–don’t say anything at all. 

Having the exact same thought, we burst into laughter and changed the subject to something more delightful. 

Our humorous unspoken agreement was all we needed to know we were on the same page and we preferred to move on with our lives with subjects we only had good things to say. 

She expects more from you. 

Mistakes are made as we are human. 

When you give her boy advice, she expects you to practise what you preach as well. 

There was a time when someone treated me poorly and she FaceTimed me in the moment so we could both have a laugh at the situation and figure out our next moves. Not my next moves–our next moves. 

Make the mistake once and all is forgiven. I only trust people who are honest with me because they want to steer me into a positive direction. Each little decision could be life-altering, so wise friends with high expectations are worth keeping around for a very long time. 

She grew up respecting her parents and authority.

I love when people are afraid to break the rules. It says that they have a conscience and morals. 

There are times when I have seen people reveal their lack of integrity breaking rules because nobody is looking and I had a hard time sleeping that night. 

Principled people make me feel safe knowing that I can trust them when I look away. Imagine the good deeds these people commit in front of others. 

She is consistently keeping up with friends and family. 

A social butterfly does not necessarily mean being familiar with glitterati gossip at parties, but having a balanced life full of people to lean on. They all are thrilled to warmly greet each other, and that says a lot about the person who glues them together. 

One day, I will have grandchildren as lovely and within reach as my dear friend Mia. 

She doesn’t let others get involved with her problems and solves them herself. 

This applies both ways. We always want to help each other even if it is indirectly.

If she is going through a hard time, I will Doordash her food or flowers to her to brighten a rough day. A call can also suffice. Simply asking how she is, changing the subject to distract her from tougher parts of life, or making her laugh with a relatable meme. 

Not all heroes wear capes. 

She always finds multiple solutions.

There is always an answer and it is easy to find, because she makes it so. Plentiful options are at her disposal, because she is passionate about playing chess in her mind. 

God’s rejection is God’s protection. 

If a restaurant only opens at a certain time, we can stop by a bakery to have dessert before dinner. Her creativity in finding solutions is unmatched, because she is resourceful on another level. 

Somehow, she is always playing 3D chess. 

She loves being organised and on top everything in her life.

Getting as much as possible done is not easy no matter where you are in life, because she understands big goals take a lot of small steps to get where she wants to be.

Most days, every single detail is thought of thoroughly whilst others, she is doing her best with the time and energy she has. 

Waking up early really helps with planning, reminders, and outfits ready. Meal prepping, prompts, and people who are on the same journey also help and she knows this. 

She is always making a conscious effort to be her best and most of all…show up. Showing up is 80% of the game. Even when she is exhausted, she does it with a smile.

She is patient and understands the importance of taking time. 

Finding the love of your life takes time. Studying for your next certification takes time. Finding your new dream apartment takes time. 

But she makes you laugh along the way and finds pop-ups of fabulous places to go and new things to do in between. The journey is just as marvellous as the destination. 

She knows how to keep her mind busy and finds other ways to be strong for delayed gratification. 

She cares for every soul. 

There is beauty everywhere she looks, because beautiful things are only on her mind. Everyone is special. Everyone has something to offer. There is value everywhere and she is immutably searching for the answers in each person she meets. 

She believes in love.

A lot of women I meet are all about chasing or attracting money, clout, or some type of status to fulfill her worth. She already recognises her worth to begin with and can relax to focus on adding more to her life. 

Not out of necessity, but because her heart is wrapped in desires that make her incandescently human. She already has everything she needs and has so much love to give. She believes others have such love as hers. 

The glass is always half full in her eyes. 

Silver lining exists in every circumstance. This is because presence is a walking ray of sunshine that gives her the light she needs to see beyond the clouds.

There is a large body of research showing that people who tend to ‘see the silver lining’ — often studied as optimism, positive reappraisal, or psychological resilience — generally do better across health, work, relationships, and long-term achievement.

Some key findings:

• People with higher optimism tend to cope with stress more effectively and recover faster after setbacks.
• Optimistic thinking is associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety symptoms.
• Studies have linked optimism with better cardiovascular health and even longer lifespan.
• In performance settings, people who reinterpret failures constructively are more likely to persist and improve over time.
• Positive reappraisal (“finding meaning or growth in hardship”) is strongly connected to resilience and emotional regulation.

A few influential concepts and researchers:

• Martin Seligman — studied ‘learned optimism’
• Barbara Fredrickson — positive emotions broaden creativity and problem-solving
• Positive Reappraisal
• Resilience

One famous idea from Fredrickson’s research is the

broaden-and-build’ theory: positive emotions help people think more flexibly, notice opportunities, build relationships, and accumulate resources over time. Small mindset differences can compound into very different outcomes.

That doesn’t mean ignoring reality or ‘toxic positivity.’ 

The studies usually point toward:

• realistic optimism
• adaptive thinking
• meaning-making after difficulty
• belief that situations can improve

—not pretending bad things are good.

A poetic way to phrase it:

People who search for light tend to keep moving long enough to find it.

I hope everyone finds this type of love.

Friendship is one of the truest forms of love. 

A healthy, powerful woman who wants to take on the world needs a circle of similar-minded women to keep her going and remind her who she is. Whether it is from a striking outfit, radiant smile, or words of encouragement–we all need an It Girl to be an It Girl. 

Look around at your mother, grandmother, sisters, cousins, friends, teachers, and neighbours. They are surrounding you everywhere everyday. As long as you seek them you will find them. 

Stay true to yourself with good friends who do the same. To all the It Girls: we salute you.🥂

The difference between feeling inspired and actually living it is surrounding yourself with women and spaces that reflect your highest standard.

That is exactly what we’re building at The It Girl School.

A space for girls who want more than just motivation — they want embodiment. Soft life energy, elevated friendships, high standards, feminine discipline, and a lifestyle that feels as good as it looks.

If you have ever read something like this and thought ‘this is the kind of woman I want to be around’ — this is your sign.

Come join us inside The It Girl School and start surrounding yourself with the kind of energy that doesn’t just inspire you… it upgrades you.

The It Girl isn’t something you chase.
It’s something you choose — daily, intentionally, and in community.