How to Prepare for Life’s Setbacks and Build True Wealth & Freedom

If sh*t hits the fan – which it will – are you prepared?

Ten years ago, I was running my own freelance business during the day and getting invited to the most talked about Hollywood events at night. 

I looked impeccably glamorous in affordable fast fashion gowns from Forever 21 while everyone was wearing Valentino. I used to not care if people thought I was or looked cheap. Those around me truly felt this and saw I cared about personal style and friendship over trends and clout.

The only thing I added was my good spirits because of my freedom. 

Nobody said a negative word, only commenting how good I looked and wanted me around. I always had so much energy and excitement to add to the party, because that’s exactly how I felt and everyone noticed. 

Fun fact: I didn’t realise I created a $2,000 a month side gig selling what I had recently worn on Poshmark. I found the key to earning my money back. My lifestyle covered my bills! Not my business.

Instead of focusing on spending on going out, I got invited everywhere for free. 

People love fun, positive, stylish women at their parties. At first, we were decorations to lift the vibe. Later, we became necessary to be cool if you were seen next to us. They came for our polished presentation but stayed for our restorative conversations. Men and especially women. 

Looking back, I was the ultimate business woman by day and dazzling socialite by night.

Instead, my money would go towards rent and the next country I wanted to see. 

Travelling internationally was my greatest expense and unquestionably worth it. 

My goal was to visit several countries each month and I have stepped on the soil of over 50 nations by age 23. 

I flew so extensively in my early twenties that people genuinely thought I lived in Europe for a few years. Which I only did for a couple years after they gave me the idea. But first, six months in Sub-Saharan Africa. 

Fast forward to a decade later

Now, I am in sort of a similar situation but minus the travelling. 

After getting fired in October 2025, I stepped back into the job market. I did not like my job, so I was focusing more on my dream. I felt lost for the entire year, but October hit hard with an identity crisis.

I found out that I needed a masters degree to answer phones. Nobody wanted to hire the overqualified 30 year old. They wanted someone fresh out of university with an unpaid internship portfolio of work so they could pay them a depressing amount. 

I knew my worth and did not falter. 

I even had to call the police on a former crazy boss who proved she wasn’t going to pay me. With the help of the Beverly Hills Police Department, she did. Thank you, Officer Jordan. 

When I work, I give 110% even if it is a simple task. Why am I putting all my energy into other horrible people’s companies? I don’t even care about this enterprise. Why am I doing the most to learn all about it? You have to convince a slave to work this job for this pay or someone who is desperate. 

Oh wait, I was desperate. 

My loving boyfriend covered rent for three months after I had an emergency surgery that cost a small fortune I had spent my last few cents on. He took care of me when I was sick and made sure I ate as much nutritious food as possible on our shrinking budget. 

My love showed me what it meant to be a real man. 

I will never forget this and fight tears as I think about everything he’s done for me. Especially when he had nothing. Except working 12 hour shifts 6 days a week with an atrocious boss who screamed at him over the phone so much I had to intervene. 

We both lost so much weight. 

I was 95 pounds and my sweetheart was without the muscle he had when I first met him. I would hug him in bed to stay warm at night, because we have no heating. Feeling his arms, I held the bones he had become. We didn’t even have clean water to drink and my health was deteriorating faster everyday. Our lives were gone. 

This had to change. I never wanted him to feel this pain again. 

After two weeks of no food, I went to work. 

My sweetheart said it’s his pleasure to help me and be here, because God always has his back. This is why he does not stress in terribly unfortunate situations, so I started praying again and reading His words in the Quran with my angel.  

Talking to God everyday, I asked him to please give me the strength to find the knowledge and value I could give the world so I can give to the people around me. If you give me one ounce of happiness, I will always find a way to triple yours with gratitude. 

If you can be by my side when I am at my worst, you will always be there when I celebrate my wins. 

I doubled down on my business and literally made double what I was earning in my business ten years ago. 

This business model is different, but I put all the money I have into it. The more I made, the more I funded better endeavours. Bills, groceries, gas paid? Next up, business. 

Most days I would take home somewhere around $400-600 a day. On great days, I took home $1,400 and tipped $100 to say thank you to God for watching over me. This small tip will make someone’s day and hopefully give them food for the rest of the week. The rest went to my business. 

The man who taught me so much about business, not caring what people think, and focusing on what you’re good at 

A family member told me how when he made a little bit of money, he put it into his business. After he had his heart broken, he threw himself into work. Any time he served customers, he made certain his diligence overdelivered. 

He never cared about fashion or going to trendy restaurant openings. All his money went towards keeping the lights on and paying his small team of workers well with steady bonuses. All he has to do is show his face. 

Now, with each product worth up to $2 million and overhead of $90,000 a month, he still lived simply. 

His house in an affluent neighbourhood has been paid off for years now. His shirts were $15 from Costco and he drove a scratched Toyota Camry. His home is amazing with ornaments that are hundreds of years old with a Mason & Hamlin piano that cost a Rolls Royce. His children are taken care of for an entire lifetime. 

He was so used to living simply that it made him have more money in his pocket and freedom to spoil his friends when going out for dinner or $30,000 a person adventures. 

For me, it’s paying 

$915 a month in rent for a tiny apartment in glamorous Los Angeles, eating what my body needs, and buying natural fibres from Fashion Nova. I love trends without the debt! Fending off lifestyle creep has not been a challenge, because I have a much bigger goal beyond frivolous status signals. 

The emotional support of my loving sweetheart was one of my inspirations for pre-ordering a future of ease. 

I have never seen him purchase clothes even though he loves designer style. His tops cost more than mine. But he knows it is not his time. It is not a matter of if, but when. 

He sees this clearly and pays off his bills faster than I do. I used to pay mine two weeks in advance to make sure I had the money, but I have never seen someone with such consistent discipline.

It is not the motivation, it is simply who he is. I thank his brilliant businessman father for instilling this in him. I am proud of my boyfriend everyday. I hope to make him proud of me one day and consistently. 

I still go out and do nice things. 

This is when I am with loved ones. I rather put my energy into making everyone I adore feel taken care of. I cover the bill when my friends do not have the luxuries they want and surprise my counterpart with a feast almost daily. 

When others are around me, I never want to make them feel like they are missing a thing. 

I still don’t care if people think I am cheap.

Now, I have a different perspective on it though. If you do not feed me, take care of me when I am sick, or support me at all – why should I care what you think? 

I have a really nice life where I have everything I need and more. 

My bills are paid, credit is persistently rising again, and purpose is greater. My next goals are to pay for all my business software annually versus monthly. This way I do not feel the stress of seeing my bank account drained each month and get a two month discount on the subscription. 

Insurance is paid for the year, the same for my phone plan, and so are my workers. Now it is a matter of moving to the next level.

After that, I can propel into a deeper focus on my venture to grow it faster. More eyes, more people, more elegant ladies who can benefit from my vision. I am still on this journey, but now am solidifying myself in giving as much value as possible everywhere I go. 

Now that I can show up feeling my best on my own schedule, I can pour into my YouTube videos, blogs, and informational social media posts. 

This might not seem like a big deal for people, but the world is changing with content. People shower, drive, cook, clean, and just for fun listen to content. 

Sharing the depth of the beauty around us and finding elegance in a daily cultivated life makes us realise how rich we are. 

People might not see me as the most glamorous or attractive, but these are also the ones who do not notice their world and barely live life. They are the same people who do not take care of their bodies and wonder why their life is so difficult. 

Their priorities are all wrong. 

Why do you have a nice car parked in front of your house that looks haunted? Wouldn’t you rather have your property worth more by taking care of your house than a depreciating asset? 

Why do you brag about not working out and then complain about being hungover?

Why do people not invite you to nice places? 

Why don’t you know how to act at nice places? 

Why are your bags designer but have no cash in them? 

Why do you go out to eat for fine dining but don’t tip? 

Why do you teach me that stealing is wrong as a child, but then encourage me to fall asleep at work to steal from my boss? 

Why do you have a horrible attitude?

Why do you have nothing nice to say when you open your mouth? 

Why are you giving me terrible advice when your life is awful? 

Have fun overdrinking with your lousy ‘friends’ who encourage you to drink more.  

One of the richest men on the planet sold off almost all of his physical possessions to fund his operations. 

Elon Musk rotated nights at friends’ houses after selling his properties to make sure he built a legacy that lived beyond himself. He has goals that are literally out of this world, because he knows what advancements the human mind is capable of.

I am nowhere near that level, but when you reach for the moon you fall on a star. 

He sleeps in his office – which is literally what I do because I have a two inch apartment that I love. My work also feels like home, because I love what I do.

It does not have to be extreme, but small movements create long streaks of progress over time. 

I never feel more invigorated when saying no to something – whether it be a purchase, unaligned event, or something to harm my body – because I am willing to make the trade now for a better tomorrow. 

Money looks better in your bank account and on your table versus in other people’s mouths when you want to buy their acceptance.

Learn to be selectively high maintenance 

It costs a lot to build a business. Especially in California. It used to feel really hard. 

When it felt that way, I reminded myself Choose your hard. 

My dad drove me through Los Angeles seeing drug addicts begging on the street. 

He said, It’s a hard life. 

Being poor is hard. Being rich is hard. Which one would you rather choose? 

Business subscriptions might feel expensive, but so do the 20 coffees a month you get on your way to work. 

So do the designer dresses that sit in your closet waiting to be used for a special occasion. Events get cancelled all the time. Or postponed to a different season where the climate changes. That style might not be appropriate anymore. 

It is also costly to take all your time shopping online when you could be using that same time to organise your home life to set you up for success the next day. 

You can still watch your favourite tv show or discover a new album while meal prepping and cleaning your home. 

Dance in the kitchen together and sit down to eat with a movie at your coffee table instead of going on expensive dates paying for valet and a 20% tip. 

Cleaning your computer or work bag for the next day will make you feel ready for anything. 

Assembling an outfit and making your routine easier to show up tomorrow is rich people movements.

Use your finest things everyday, because you can’t afford poorly things.

I am using my car until all the dash lights go on one day. By that time, I will afford the deluxe service it takes to repair it without wincing. My little black car is perfect for parking in the city and has impressive mileage for $7 per gallon gas in California. It also looks elegant when having the valet pull up, because it’s shining so clean. 

The biggest turn on is when people use their designer bags the way Jane Birkin did. To death. You think she cared? She was already an icon before the bag.  

My perfume is being sprayed until the last drop and I have to replace it. I only shop with my heart and choose things I love, because I made the decision that I don’t have to look at a price tag for small purchases as this. 

At first it’s about working hard, then it becomes about working smart.

Once you find your grind and know what you’re doing, then you can focus on what gives you the most results. 

You have to try a lot of things to see what you’re good at, willing to do, and what is worth the sacrifice. If you are willing to put in the work now, you’re making a trade to say no to damaging things later. 

The higher your self worth, the higher your standards rise. 

When you devote yourself to the matters that are the highest priorities in your book, double down like you will not be able to eat tomorrow. 

One day when you are invited to a flashy event, your reputation might precede you with unnecessary introductions. Everyone is attracted to your radiating success. Whether it be how polished you are, how beautiful you present yourself, or your work–you will attract everyone. 

You can easily filter and walk away from those who do not align with your existing conditions to maintain your momentum of wise decisions. 

Think what future you will hold for you.

Do you want her to be in pain? 

Do you want her to say no to fun things with people she loves, because you made a costly mistake now? 

My friend, you have spent tuition for a lesson or two back in the day. 

Remind yourself of things you will never do again, because you want to do everything you can to avoid an expensive error later. 

Prepare yourself now, because it is not going to be easy or look cute anymore when you are older. You can start at any age. Everyone starts somewhere. The whole point is to start. 

The best time to plant a tree was five years ago. The second best time is now. 

The more prepared you are, the less the damage hurts. You weaken the burden of what used to be a grand setback, because you have the time, effort, and money.

Now you only have to put in 1%, because you’re used to doing the hard things. A flat tire? Covered. Everything is easy. I can take an upper level Uber ride home or Waymo and not have a single worry about getting around.

If you have a windfall, put it towards savings or something smart for future you. She will thank you and thank her future self by doing it again and again. 

Everything else is noise. 

A few days ago, I picked up some fruits, vegetables, and fish from the grocery store only to realise I never looked at the price. This is the one place you should spend retail. Food on sale makes me despondent. 

I saw food on sale at a market I frequent that was on a last day sale for four days straight. 

Now, I go to the market asking for the freshest meats straight from the butcher and negotiate the amount of fat and leanness versus counting on the pre-cuts on the shelves. 

Jeff Bezos is rolling in dough, because I stock up on shower and teeth essentials to lock in the price before they are dynamically inflated. A $140 annual Costco membership that takes me 2 hours to drive is not worth my valuable time versus the convenience of a $99 a year Amazon subscription with same day delivery. 

I only need 3 pairs of wool-silk blend trousers and I am good to go. They are always on sale each season. Even if I do not choose to get them on sale, I can afford to spend that money, because I know what my time is worth.

Ten years ago, I didn’t know what I was doing. But I had the right idea.

I am using the same strategies today. Focusing on what is important – freedom – and showing up with a positive attitude. I still looked good and shopped, but made it worth my time. 

Those friends turned into lifelong bonds, with kids who now see partying as ping pong nights and swapping the newest science-backed ways to expand our minds and nurture our bodies.

Looking back, every hardship, every “no,” and every sacrifice was a step toward freedom and purpose. 

I’ve learned that true wealth is not measured by designer labels or flashy experiences, but by the energy, love, and value you bring into your life and the lives of others. 

If you focus on what truly matters, take smart risks, and invest in yourself, you can turn even the toughest moments into the foundation of your most empowered life.

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