How to establish a reputation that precedes you 

Hello, Gorgeous!

I cannot commit to a sample size perfume in a month. 

The little spray sits in my handbag, vanity, or vide poche for a few months before I remember it is even there. Initially, this was the scent I plucked for myself like my favourite rose in the garden. But it takes time for my brain to learn that it is a consistent concept that fits into my life.

6 months passed before I realised I liked a handbag. 3 years passed before I realised my best friend was my best friend. 8 years passed before I knew one of my dearest friends considered me to be an unrelated lifetime aunt to his newborn. 

Everyone needs time to see who truly stands out in their journey.

Gradual determination needs to exist prior to setting up the idea for potential devotion. Whether it is standing out in work, a blossoming friendship, or as a stable lover you can see your life with.  

Some need more space in between that time more than others. The distance is not always clear. But showing up as a persistent reliable source of groundedness in a chaotic world is a wonderful place to be. 

In other words, being a rock who holds an unclear value by simply showing up and being there is enough whilst figuring out your place in someone’s life. 

At times you might be showing up to say hello and you are recognised as there. On other occasions, you could be an ear when someone spills their heart. 

Be generous with all of these instances with your open heart and honest opinions. 

Instead of focusing on others, define who you want to methodically be. 

First, give yourself time instead of concentrating on what you can offer others. Creating a full life of endless personal assets will give you tastes to refine. 

Take your passions day by day. If you cannot commit to checking on yourself this often–take it week by week. It can be every two weeks. 

A month is too far out, because you need to reset your mind and environment. Similar to how you restock groceries or clean your home every few days or week. 

Points if you can take your daily inventory of practices to excel in day by day as part of your regular routine. You will grow faster and learn more expeditiously.

Show up feeling useless. Initially. 

Everything worth doing is worth doing poorly. 

It is difficult to imagine James Bond rehearsing the tango alone in his room. Or Jesus cultivating his sermons. We put people on a pedestal the moment we know they are already good at what they do. 

The seduction is painstaking at first, but I promise with intention, effort, and managing expectations–you will learn what you are made of and what you are capable of doing. 

It took me being stuck in an agonising relationship that went on much longer than what it should have been to show me how I could show up for someone without expecting anything in return. 

I walked away with countless lessons that taught me to see clearly in and out of a situation with the dignity to walk away on a clear path. I showed up as my best not knowing what I was stepping into and came out of the end as a more patient, lovelier version of myself. 

Stick to your efforts for 1 year. 

Push through all the seasons to see results. 

Only you can deem your contributions as failure if you label them as such. Do not thwart your initiatives before then unless someone else says to quit – in a relationship or job where you are fired. 

Even then, people gain the momentum to apply their efforts on their own personal endeavours. This could mean starting their own business or searching for the same role in another capacity. 

Avoid changing your direction until you see the year through. Then decide what to do next after the 52 weeks concluded. 

You can always change your direction. 

Whatever it is you commit to, this can be

• Working out or on a certain party of your body
• Living in a new city
• Building a relationship
• Nurturing a career
• Learning a new skill
• Developing your personal style
• Creating a new routine

Remember there are many ways to go about it. 

The compounding outcomes are a rewarding voyage in itself. Simply trying out a new diet or routine does not have to be rigid in the manner you approach it. 

A template you adopted as your formula can be tailored to your liking as you move through the year. You can try a plan for a couple months and sculpt it to suit you better. 

The point is to keep going and adjust as you navigate.

Once you find your thing (s)–master it.

The rich part of life is not only one single chapter, but many evolutions. 

When you get good at something, you want more. Repeat the process as education is a thing that never ends. Master many matters and you master more of yourself.

I want you to be able to walk into any room and talk for two hours with expansive knowledge of any topic. Eventually. That seems like a big ask, but is it not when seeking answers about the plain world around you.

Not very many people can draw their own hands they see everyday. An abundance of central ideas are taken for granted and routinely overlooked. 

How does the air conditioner work? Why does my stomach hurt after I do or eat certain things? Why does the sun fall at this hour during this climate? I dare you to learn. 

If you seek the answers you will find them. The person in the room who has the most information will be prepared for all the opportunities headed her way. Pursue a life of infinite opportunities, because life is too short to not share the value you were meant to bestow.

Your reputation is not built overnight. 

It is carefully crafted through the small things you choose to do consistently. 

If you are ready to refine your identity, cultivate your confidence, and become the woman whose presence speaks before she does, join me inside The It Girl School.

✨ Start your transformation at TheItGirlSchool.com and learn how to build the habits, knowledge, elegance, and self-mastery that create a life people remember.