You are not asking for a lot. You are not asking for enough.

Hello, Gorgeous! 

A lovely It Girl of The Socialite Society and The It Girl School student had the thought that she may be asking for ‘a lot’. 

This broke my heart because my father encouraged me to dream bigger. He never talked about the results and only discussed the work. I was very lucky to have a leader in my life to tell me that

You should always share your talents with everyone, because some never come across what you have in their lifetime.

In order to do this, you need to build yourself by becoming capable. It all starts with how you see yourself and the possibilities that you could never even imagine. I say this with my whole body and spirit. 

 You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’ [1]

George Bernard Shaw

Here is what transpired in my last email sent to her.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful email. Reading your reflections genuinely made my day. 🖤

I’m so happy to hear that the lessons resonated with you and that you’re taking the time to value your self-refinement. This is very beautiful. The fact that you’re asking yourself these questions tells me you’re already doing the inner work that creates lasting transformation. 

To answer your question—I can absolutely relate. 

There is no shame or guilt in wanting more. It simply means you know where you are and where you want to be. In my opinion, nothing is too much when it comes to what you want because the universe has no budget. 

You can also take a step back later and gauge what works for you. 

There are times I have purchased shoes because I loved them. I never wore them but cherished the shoes as art in my home. Then there came a day I really needed them and was thankful I had them in the first place without needing to search far. 

Do not look with the lens of guilt. You simply learn. 

A lot of people have ‘a lot’ within a larger scale. But this is all relative. It is simply finding your place in it. In other words, what makes you feel balanced and sane. 

For example, someone might think having a house full of plants to take care of is not a lot. That is their baseline. 

• Nurturing these plants with water 
• managing soil 
• transplanting them into various pots 

sounds stressful to me. I think that is a lot. 

Yet, I do not think having several bouquets in crystal vases all over the home is not a lot. It is the same idea. We put weight on different things. 

To me, you are not asking a lot. You have a certain standard and that is perfectly fine. 

Your self awareness in this stage is a form of mindfulness. You know exactly what you want. 

Many women are taught that wanting a beautiful life, meaningful success, quality relationships, or financial freedom somehow makes us selfish or unrealistic. This is not the 1950s where a woman signalling her value is solely by being married and raising a family. Or only having a successful career. 

Success looks different to everyone. We are in an age where women have access to so much and are allowed to be whatever we want. 

I know men and women in my social circle who are well beyond the things I want. They want to rule the world in their field with things that never cross my mind–such as stem cell health, owning properties internationally, giving to charities I have never heard of, and being part of summits with people who are on their same level or more advanced. That is a lot to me at this point in time. However, one day when we meet that path, we will cross that bridge. 

By what you are telling me, you are a very intentional woman. You have outgrown a part of your life and are moving into a different season because you are dissatisfied. Humans were built this way, so we seek improvement. Same how we used to live in a house made of sticks but now we have ornate fluted plaster on a threshold. There is always more to life we seek. 

Rome exists. It was not created in a day. The Roman Empire was technically ‘a lot’. We do not look at it with guilt. Quite the opposite. We have a sense of glory exploring each period of the empire. 

The key is remembering that high standards are different from entitlement. You can appreciate where you are today while still believing you’re capable of creating more tomorrow. Gratitude and ambition can exist together. 

You simply saved your seat to a celebration inviting you to become the woman you are capable of being. 

You do not have to abandon reality to build a beautiful life. You meet reality with intention, consistency, and self-respect, one decision at a time. It is all step by step. 

Thank you again for trusting me enough to share something so personal. Please don’t ever feel like your dreams are ‘too much.’ You deserve the opportunity to see the woman you can become and stay if you like it. Which I am sure you will. You will find a healthy balance within the poles of your standards and different sides of you. 

I am excited for you as you continue through The It Girl School, and I cannot wait to see where this journey takes you. 

Let me know if you have any questions or notes. I am always here. 

With endless love,

Gia 🖤

The right people will never think you are a lot. They will think so highly of you that the world is not enough for you to conquer. 

The It Girl does not shrink her dreams to fit her circumstances.

She expands her capacity to meet them.

Join TheItGirlSchool.com to develop elegance, confidence, ambition, self-mastery.