Never ask for anything and be offered the world when you want it

Hello, Gorgeous!

A few years ago in a past video on my YouTube channel, I was someone who manifested a little too hard. 

With fervent intentions, I got what I wanted but was not clear about what I wanted. Manifestation makes me force things where it does not exist. A desperation of sorts.

It is similar to learning a new word and suddenly hearing it everywhere you go. If you are seeking it, it will make itself known. This is why I stopped manifestation–even though my heart was never really in it–because it was more yearning than anything.

In Arabic there is a saying.

If your beloved is made of honey, do not lick it all off. 

إذا كان حبيبك عسلًا فلا تلحسه كله

That is the best translation I can think of.

Even when something (or someone) is wonderful, do not consume it too quickly or take all of it for yourself, because overindulgence can ruin what is precious.

I introduced a couple I believed could enrich each other’s lives.

It brings me joy to say it did not work out. In the worst way possible. 

Not having experienced how this woman versed around men, I regarded her highly for her work ethic and personality. Character is something you learn over time and we have been acquainted shortly. 

She is not everyone’s cup of tea. In essence, she is best in small doses around men. I learnt this a bit too late. Nevertheless, she is looking forward to being girlfriends as opposed to focusing on a man. This is one of the many reasons I will always fight for her. 

However, my acquaintance I have known longer recognised how she was more into their relationship as a transaction that benefitted her above all else. Instantly turned off, he stopped seeing her. 

Was she asking for much? Actually, no.

He got what he asked for. Exactly his request. 

The problem was he did not know the price he had to pay for it. She was perfectly up to his standard. Yet he hardly feels generous and will push you to see how low a woman can go.

Standards are a game of limbo. 

You might not see it right away but when inserting yourself into the unknown, people are eager to take advantage. 

I once dated someone who was not up to my standards and each chapter grew worse. He lowered the bar each time. Leaving him meant attracting my regular old life. Which is pretty darn fabulous. 

Now that I am back where I want to be, I am never settling for less again. 

Keep your standards sky high and do not settle. 

I live by this. 

My phone and iCloud are now a sacred black book of being able to fly private or first class to anywhere I want. As long as I want. With loved ones who have children I adore and choose to see on my own.  

However, I do not use it. I do not need it. I do not want it. There are more important fish to fry as I am studying and building my dreams first and foremost. That is what will always matter at the end of the day. 

Knowing my standards keeps me sane along with everyone around me.

She asked for all the things he would have given. But at a cost to her. 

And a little bit too early.

This relationship would have worked out perfectly if it organically progressed over time. 

However her milestones were faster than his, because she usually gets offered everything she wants right away. 

That is an ice cold truth that some men do not have the appetite for. Even when they are the ones asking a lot. 

Both could have gotten what they wanted, but he was not willing to put his money where his mouth is because he seemed to want more each time he saw her. 

They both ended up scaring each other away. 

Do not treat partnership as if it is not conditional.

Love itself is never truly unconditional between partners. With children, pets, and family that came before–it is another story. 

For instance, you love someone under the condition that they are true and loyal to you and are on the same page with values and goals amongst other principles. 

I promise to love you and stay married to you as long as you never cheat. Those are conditions.

If the conditions are broken, the relationship is no longer.

Never ask for anything.

These two were not a good match to begin with. However, she was exactly what he was asking for. 

Be careful what you wish for is essentially the premise of this piece, but with an asterisk of wish wisely. 

He did not realise what he was asking of her. But once it was acknowledged, he did not think she was worth it. The problem was he was not worth it. 

Do not ask others for a lot. Or anything at all.

I detest owing people. It is one of the worst feelings in the world to me.

This is one of the reasons why I love Chinese culture. Several Chinese friends have pointed out how being in debt is unheard of in their social culture. 

You give me $100. I will give you $200.

I never heard of this until I met them but have been living this a long time. 

In French, there is also an expression my loved ones from Europe have frequented.

Les bons comptes font les bons amis.

Good accounts make good friends.

The alternative to making requests is offering instead.

It does not make sense to tell you what not to do without giving an alternative.

The notion of endless giving is always the first thing on my mind when walking into any room. How can I change someone’s day or help? 

I am not talking about unsolicited advice. It can be a smile, compliment, or connecting someone to another person. Doors are opened with such simple opportunities. 

Life is really easy when you are working on yourself and always making the best of any situation. 

Give with all your heart until your gut tells you to walk away. 

When you meet someone you can love, practise moderation.

Love is not only romantic but for all mankind in general. Human decency.

I have a friend who visited a hot spa when a person approached him making light conversation. This stranger found out the status and power they hold within their professional life and immediately asked for a letter of recommendation. 

He politely declined and was shocked and how people treat as like vultures at a buffet. 

However when it comes to people you want around for a long time, this is the time to be as magnanimous as possible. Regarding your partner for life, even more so above all. 

Understand the balance of when to retreat and take a break. It goes both ways. 

Being an angel can be exhausting. 

Never throw things back at someone saying how much you gave.

Hopefully, you both gave everything you could where you can look back and find bits of treasure to smile upon. 

People either reach a capacity where they can no longer give or want to give more each day. 

When in a disagreement, it never makes any sense to bring up what you gave, because you seek no revenge. Nothing in return. No expectations.

This is the ultimate form of love. Embody, embrace, and cherish it when you experience it. 

Never ask others things you can do for yourself.

Or should be doing for yourself as a grown adult. This includes paying for services you might need for convenience. 

You would not ask your friend to wash your car, pick up your dry cleaning, or organise your closet for you. 

I see women on the internet carrying themselves with pride because they ask men to pay their bills for them. It is one thing if people happily offer with their whole heart and genuinely intend to include you as their responsibility. But it is a conscious decision on their own. 

What I am not saying is do not be in your feminine state and refuse receiving. I am stating that when initiative is unforced, go with the flow and say yes if it suits the moment or your long term goals. 

Life is rich with what you give yourself and you only add good to the world of others. As they naturally should yours. 

Cashing in favours feels like using people. Because it is. 

A woman I made an effort to be friends with did not understand what friendship was. 

She asked for too much and was not self aware. That is not a friend. Some people have a tendency to not want to comprehend where boundaries are. This is where it gets dangerous. 

Sometimes people will never realise how much they are asking, because their priorities are backwards.

Why buy my own floss when I can spend money on shoes I cannot afford? Yes, this literally happened. 

The funny thing was she would always voice her thoughts on how to have strong boundaries and was shaken when I showed her mine. She feels above me as she remains unkind, but I have neutral feelings with only flowery words to say. 

I did not expect anything back, because I have been living well with this in mind for years before her. She did not have the Chinese mentality and continued to take until life around her was left dry. 

Favours are generous enough.

The fact that someone thought of you in the first place is a remarkable moment to behold. Do not take this lightly and always show your thanks with positive encounters and support.

People will always want you around and to cross those boundary lines of generosity, because they see you have your life together. 

Your life is already attractive on your own and everyone will want a piece of it. 

I do not believe in asking for handouts or entitled behaviour. 

It is a plague on society and our immediate communities. 

Your reputation is untouchable when you are known to ceaselessly give in the simplest of ways consistently, because it is a way of showing up. 

Every moment becomes more meaningful—and far more rewarding—when you can savour what you have earned for yourself rather than simply accepting what has been handed to you without fully appreciating its value.

The moment you are in need, people will run to you.

Reflecting, the only times I ever asked for something from someone was a life or death situation. 

Counting all the times on one hand, they had something to do with a place to live from escaping a life threatening situation. Now counting blessings, people were happy to swoop in and help. 

It benefitted so many people in the long run beyond myself. 

When others are in need, you are ready.

I had a friend once ask me to help him with a document and it was ready within 5 seconds. Everyone in the room mentioned how I was worth my weight in gold.

It was not the praise I received but familiarising myself with the value I offered my friend in need. This is one the most magnificent feelings in the world.

When they need someone to help them move, I have my flats on and sleeves rolled up. When it is hot, I break out my handheld fan. 

On a wild night out in West Hollywood, a girl was sick in the bathroom and I offered her the mini mouth wash in my bag. It changed the trajectory of her entire night and she got to have a bit more fun for a few more hours feeling refreshed.

Being prepared to help when you have the ability is a transcendent guardian angel moment I cannot describe. Highly recommend 12/10 experience. 

You do not need to convince anyone of your worth.

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