10 Summer social lessons to choose your destiny and create your dream life

Hello, Gorgeous!

Here are some things I learnt this Summer that are helping make my life better, choose my destiny, and truly become a woman of my own again. I hope you find richness in these It Girl lessons. 

Sometimes it’s okay to French exit. 

Thank you for being here after I took a break. 

Sometimes I like to French exit and post as an afterthought that I took a hiatus. It feels an obligation to keep you abreast of developments, because you are here.

I used to be more organised about posting on a schedule but I am thoroughly enjoying living a full life and not worrying about anything online. This generates creative juices without burnout. We are locked back in step this time. 

In person, I never French exit and make sure to make my acquaintances known again to everyone in the room. People will never forget when you leave them wanting more. 

Some people are more worth your time than others. 

Though I never do this in person or when making plans, I find myself neglecting texts after I see 48 notifications of people who want a piece or me or something from me. It could be time, energy, and/or effort. 

Guard all of these intently and focus on only the people and things that matter in real life. If a person is meant to be in your life, you both will keep coming back to each other. 

I have the most important people in my social circle pinned to the top (all women) of my messages on my iPhone. People below these pinned individuals (mostly men) are secondary and sometimes it takes a few days for me to respond. 

Everyone wants something from you when you are living life to the fullest.

Feelings and goals come in waves.

Some days I want to go on a date where I am romanced to the utmost degree. Other times a simple moment where I am spending time with someone. Most of all–I love not being bothered and in my solitude. 

A lady should do all of the above regularly.

Recently, I asked a dear friend if he wanted to get married. He said,

‘It comes in waves.’ 

He continued to justify each extreme as he was at the pinnacle of his success at semi-retirement as a young man. Yet ready to fall in love with a beautiful woman at a party who is just as crazy as him. 

Endorsing this sentiment, I admired and understood. But never answered his drunken calls at 5am. 

There are a handful of goals I have not yet reached that I know I could have achieved a few months ago had I not had a social life. But this time I chose to be a social butterfly and it was an immense pleasure. 

It is okay to flirt with everyone then come home untouched.

Letting people fall in love with you is easy if you let them. 

I simply do not appreciate STIs or unplanned pregnancies, so I avoid human contact altogether on dates or meeting others when out for the first time. 

One night stands and first time meetings with intimacy are a no-no in my book. Not only for your own security, but so you do not also lose respect for others when dealing with hard truths.  

Coming home safely unscathed brings me peace. 

It boosts everyone’s ego to encourage others and make them feel comfortable.

Others will love you for it, because they never expect it when you drape yourself in beauty. For them, the standard is low. People do not anticipate others having it all. 

A lot of people do not have social skills, but when they do they usually have an elite lifestyle. 

Being an incredible yapper is a gift. If you can tell the truth gently by making a snappy quip or sharing a very specific compliment–the world is your oyster. Everyone loves positive energy. 

People love to be charmed but I got so used to it that I come up with wittier remarks each time only to entertain myself. 

But it is because of the beauty you created in your entire persona that your standards are higher each time. Not everyone deserves you. Do not let everyone in literally and figuratively. 

People have different types of high and low standards. 

Everyone’s standards are different. 

Some like to keep their whole lives clean whilst others do on weekdays but live dangerously on weekends. 

You have to be careful in finding out who people are and not judge them for picking a side, because people are more nuanced and complex to box them in. 

People will rise to the standards you hold them to. 

I have met people who have so much brains that they never have to use them anymore and solely basque in recreation to pass the time. While some struggle with working hard and never use their brain at all. 

Both will stress you out. But one will stress you out while offering to pay your rent. You refuse it to never owe anyone anything, making you gain each other’s respect when spending time together. 

The other will make you work too much for no reason and slowly lose respect for them. 

Choose wisely. 

You lose respect for those who make your life harder. 

A gentleman instantly recognises a lady and will extend his responsibilities to you making yours his without asking. 

Some use words saying they will give you the world or want to, but cannot in the moment or never will find a way. 

Usually, they find a way when it is too late and you have already been living your fantasy for a considerable period. 

Whether you create it on your own or the one who immediately noticed how you live will further build it with you. 

You get what you want when you are stubborn about it.

Learning to negotiate was one of my favourite skills to learn. There are so many ways to do it. 

It is not manipulation when you know how to get what you want with everyone walking away feeling positive and acquiring something. 

1. Be ready to walk away to find someone else who will say yes.
2. Offer genuine goodwill and optimism to build trust.
3. If you say no, some will still chase you to re-negotiate giving what you want. 

You end up learning how to talk to all sorts of people, build your own reputation with yourself, and get what you want no matter what. 

In the right time, you will never have to choose. 

As a generous person, I concentrated my engagement on myself this time around. Keeping my circle limited yet high quality, I can give more with a higher quality effort. 

I hate spreading myself thin with people who are not aligned with my goals. 

This is why I am doing my own thing and truly not abiding to any rules for how life should be lived. 

It might mean working myself to the bone for an interval and then delighting myself in hedonism for another. I only do things with 110% effort and prefer to be in a flow state until I make myself sick. 

Hence the sporadic full month of episodes on YouTube. It is a season. Even TV networking and streaming shows are spread out this way. Humans are not machines. 

Currently working my buns off, I will have time to relax all year long in a few months due to this dedication. Then work will never feel like work and I can revel in every minute without worrying. 

Ready to become the woman who chooses her destiny?

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